


Competitive date

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Series: Tumblr prompts [12]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Double Dating, Established Relationship, Flea market, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 23:05:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9146086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: "You won't win this, Bane, stop looking so damn smug!" Raphael knew his best friend had the most questionable humour so letting him win would probably end with a very disturbing scenario. He had been to flea markets a few times in his childhood and some things he had seen there would probably haunt him forever. Simon didn't seem to mind it at all and was clearly looking forward to digging up cool stuff besides their self-proclaimed goal and Raphael already dreaded the new dust catcher that would certainly find a new home in their shared apartment. Though, at least Alec would have to suffer the same fate because Magnus was definitely going to buy weird kitsch as well."Okay, we still need to decide on a time limit. Let's say we meet back here in two hours? That should be enough time to get a good look around and find something remotely weird," Magnus suggested, clapping his hands once in delighted anticipation before intertwining his fingers with Alec's again, tugging his fiancé a little bit closer even though their shoulders were already brushing with every step.





	

**Author's Note:**

> [This](http://fangtasticsaphael.tumblr.com/post/155246943582) is the post with the prompt and [this](http://fangtasticsaphael.tumblr.com/post/152785293502) is the list with the date fic memes this idea is from.
> 
> _#18 group date_

"I get that a typical double date is not very creative but remind me again why we agreed to _this_??" Raphael grimaced and couldn't help but glare at his best friend because he knew very well that this was Magnus's idea, though Simon had been very enthusiastic about it as well.

"You already said it, the usual ideas aren't creative and fairly boring. I'm sure this will be fun and at least it will freshen up either of our apartments a little," Magnus replied with a mischievous smirk and he was clearly confident in winning this little game.

They had just arrived at a flea market with Simon and Alec for the probably weirdest double date Raphael ever heard of. Why just head to the cinema or grab dinner together when you could visit a flea market and make a "let's see who can find the weirdest thing for under $25" kind of game out of it. The pair that managed to dig up the strangest find would hand it to the other couple and tell them where to put it in their apartment - and it would have to stay there for a whole month.

"You won't win this, Bane, stop looking so damn smug!" Raphael knew his best friend had the most questionable humour so letting him win would probably end with a very disturbing scenario. He had been to flea markets a few times in his childhood and some things he had seen there would probably haunt him forever. Simon didn't seem to mind it at all and was clearly looking forward to digging up cool stuff besides their self-proclaimed goal and Raphael already dreaded the new dust catcher that would certainly find a new home in their shared apartment. Though, at least Alec would have to suffer the same fate because Magnus was definitely going to buy weird kitsch as well.

"Okay, we still need to decide on a time limit. Let's say we meet back here in two hours? That should be enough time to get a good look around and find something remotely weird," Magnus suggested, clapping his hands once in delighted anticipation before intertwining his fingers with Alec's again, tugging his fiancé a little bit closer even though their shoulders were already brushing with every step.

"Sure, two hours should be fine, I guess," Simon answered while his boyfriend only shrugged, clearly not caring too much about this ridiculous idea one way or the other. Alec's mumbled "I still don't think this will end well" was drowned out by his lover's enthusiastic "Let's go!" and both him and Simon pulled their respective partner in a different direction to explore the quite large flea market and hunt for something hopefully more hideous than the others would manage to dig up.

* * *

"Please don't. I would even prefer you'd buy the awful lamps from the other booth instead of this," Alec sighed and grimaced after his fiancé had picked up a wooden wannabe street sign with the inscription _HORNYTOWN RD_ from one of the stuffed tables to their right.

"But it would be hilarious to put this on the wall in the hallway, pointing the way towards the bedroom, darling," Magnus replied and stared at his lover with wide eyes, clearly trying to look innocent and adorable to get Alec to give in and let him buy the sign.

"You always claim that you have an impeccable sense of style but I'm pretty sure that only applies to clothing and makeup, not to interior decorations," his lover sighed with a small frown and he wondered how Magnus could be in his early thirties, yet sometimes act like a teen when it came to sex-related humour.

"We're getting married in a few months, this is only appropriate!" Magnus grinned at his taller fiancé with a glittery wink, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and successfully causing Alexander's cheeks to flush a pretty shade of pink. He couldn't even deny the accuracy of this statement - they had been together for almost ten years now but they still jumped each other at basically every occasion and couldn't seem to get enough of one another.

"You seriously want to buy this ridiculous thing and put it up in our apartment?"

Magnus nodded with a bright smile and his lover's sigh already told him that he won. He stepped closer to Alec, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek before turning around to the guy manning the booth who eyed Magnus suspiciously as if he expected him to steal the damn sign. He paid for the new decoration and they set off to finally pay more attention to the task at hand because they had only a little less than 1 1/2 hours left until they would meet with the other two again.

* * *

"Pretty sure I just found the perfect thing to win," Raphael commented, stepping next to his boyfriend who was examining some kind of clock on a table, a little after an hour since they parted ways with the others. Simon hummed before turning towards him, the "What is it" dying on his tongue after the first word and replaced by a shriek when his eyes landed on what Raphael was holding.

"Oh my fucking God! What even is this _thing_?!" He grimaced and tilted his head, examining his lover's found while keeping a distance to it, eyes still a little bit wide with shock at the unexpected sight. They had seen several different kinds of dolls by now - varying from still unharmed looking to straight out ripped off hair and missing eyes - and all of them were equally creepy but this one certainly took the cake. Not only had this one a missing eye but a bloody eye-socket, though the worst was the fact that it had additional arms and legs sticking out of its body.

Simon supposed it was meant to be art of some kind but it was a really twisted kind and one he definitely didn't even want to try to understand. He felt like this thing stared right into his soul and it was unsettling, to say the least.

"It's only $17," his boyfriend commented, seemingly unbothered by the horrible creature in his hands, going by the amused smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"That's 17 too much. I wouldn't even want that if someone _gave_ me the money!"

"The budget is $25 so we're within the set limit and I highly doubt we will find anything weirder than this." Raphael grinned and he was clearly already thinking about the place in Magnus's and Alec's apartment where this thing would have to stay for a whole month. Simon could already imagine where that would be and he was slightly worried about how evil his boyfriend could be but the conviction that they might actually really win this little game and not end up the ones with some creepy shit on display in their apartment was reason enough to agree.

"Okay but keep that thing away from me and if we lose, we will burn this! Though we probably will have to exorcise it first, just to be safe."

Raphael laughed and shook his head in amusement, gently bumping his shoulder into Simon's before he turned around to go pay for his horrible discovery. Simon chose the moment to buy the thing he had been eyeing before his lover had shown up with the horrendous doll and when Raphael was back, asking what was in the bag his boyfriend was carrying, Simon simply smirked and told him it was a surprise.

* * *

When they met up again after the two hours had passed, Alec looked slightly uncomfortable while Magnus the kind of grin on his face that never meant anything good. Raphael squinted warily at his best friend while they exchanged the bags with the result of their little hunt. The one Magnus handed to him was rather small and Raphael wondered what the others had dug up but he would find out in a few seconds anyway.

"I'm confident we won. There's no way you can top this," Magnus announced with a wide grin before they decided to check was the other couple found.

Simon decided to reach into the bag and pull out whatever was in there, only to make a mildly disturbed sound when he saw what his fingers were wrapped around and he barely kept himself from just throwing it back into the bag right away.

"Are you kidding me? Is that...is that what I think it is? But...it has _arms_ ," Simon noticed and pulled a face, wondering if flea markets always offered such disturbing stuff and if this was the reason his mother had never taken him and Rebecca to one. He was certainly thankful for it now because he surely hadn't needed to see stuff like this as a child.

"Of course Bane would show up with a sex toy, why are you even surprised?" Raphael shook his head but he looked slightly disgusted as well because this wasn't just a simple sex toy, it was a Dildo that looked like a creepy Ronald McDonald (okay creepi _er_ ) and Simon was right about the arms, even though they were apparently detachable from the "body". It was still fairly weird that this thing existed and even Raphael shuddered a little at the thought of someone sticking this--

"Are you serious with this?? How did you even find it and who on earth would try to sell such a fucked up thing??" Magnus's voice fortunately interrupted Raphael's thought process and his eyes snapped to the other two. Alec looked similarly weirded out as Simon before and his best friend was staring at him with wide eyes.

"Well, apparently someone did and we ended up buying it so...I guess it worked out just fine for the person who created the possessed baby doll," Raphael replied with a shrug and grinned at the other couple.

"I'm assuming we won? Because this here might be disturbing and I don't even want to imagine someone using it but I'm pretty sure ours leaves a better impression."

"If by _better_ you mean _more scarring_ , then sure," Alec mumbled and the way his face paled a moment later was a very obvious indicator of him realising what this meant. Them losing meant Simon and Raphael could choose anywhere in their apartment where this fucked up doll would have to stay for a whole month. Alexander might not be religious or superstitious but he was still kind of sure that this weird doll must be possessed and it was unsettling, to say the least, to think of having this thing in their home.

"This is like the start of a really bad horror movie," Simon commented but his lips were curled into a grin and he was obviously relieved that they had won because he had no desire to have a clown dildo set up in their apartment to look at for four weeks, _thank you very much_.

"You should place your new deco next to your bed - I think that would be the perfect spot for it," Raphael suggested with a sweet smile and even Simon gaped at him for it.

"Rapha, no. It's bad enough that they have to look at this thing for a whole month without having to wake up to this sight. This seems a little too cruel," Simon interjected and he caught Alec's actually thankful glance in his direction. He and Alexander might not like each other very much and Simon was annoyed by Magnus's habit of always calling him by the wrong name but that still wasn't reason enough to be meaner than necessary.

"Where would you suggest?" Raphael asked his lover in return and raised his eyebrows, not too happy by Simon disagreeing with him because he certainly didn't mind choosing the meanest spot to place the creepy doll but he knew Simon would convince him otherwise anyway so he didn't even try to argue.

"Maybe next to the vase in the hallway? That way they will always be greeted by the doll when they come home and the corner is kind of dark even with the lights on so...I guess it would still be a good enough horror setting." Simon grinned and while the other couple clearly wasn't too happy about it, they agreed anyway because this was still better than having to place the doll in their bedroom.

"Next time we decide on a double date again, please let's just be uncreative and boring and go for dinner, okay?" Alexanders pleaded when they were on their way back to the car a moment later and Simon couldn't suppress the laughter that bubbled up in his chest. The death glare he received in return caused him to squeeze Raphael's hand a little tighter and step closer to his boyfriend, just in case.


End file.
